I respond to Missed Connections on Craigslist. Sometimes people hate me, sometimes I am sorry.

Friday

YOU GAVE ME A CIGARETTE - m4w - 20 (BETWEEN 6TH AND WILSHIRE GOING DWN UNION)

Missed Connection:
HE I STOPPED YOU FOR A CIGARETTE AND YOU WAS ON THE PHONE AND AFTER YOU HAVE ME THE CIG I ASKED YOU WHAT YOU WAS GOING TO DO TONIGHT AND YOU SAID YOU WAS GOING HOME!!! SO IF THIS IS YOU READING THIS EMAIL ME ASAP MAYBE WE COULD KICK IT AND SEE WHERE IT GO FROM THERE...


My Response:
Ay mami...you be a mama's boy. I ain't want a piece of that. You go home so early, you ain't be livin your life like all my cholos, you know??? I like your look, but you gotta be a gangsta, ya know??? I'm for real, dawg. I don't play around wastin my time and bein a ho to someone that don't deserve it, yo. But hey- we can go to the Americana if you want. Check out some Sketchers and eat icecream, if you down.

His Response (as BabyLoco232):
LOL IM A GROWN ASS MAN SO IM A STRAIGHT ASS MALE AND ANT GOT TIME FOR YOUR BILLSHIT AND GAMES AND IF YOU SEEN MY AD WHEN AND GET AT ME ME IF THIS A REAL FEMALE

My Response:
Shit. I'm just a robot. Sorry, man.

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About Me

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Writer. Published in Harper Perrenial's Six Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak, It All Changed in an Instant, as well as the front page of Smith's online magazine for more than 200 six word stories. Video art exhibited in Miranda July and Harrel Fletcher's "Learning to Love You More" gallery as well as the Baltic Contemporary Art Museum. Alessandra currently tells jokes all around Los Angeles and produces Heeb Magazine's monthly storytelling show in LA.