I respond to Missed Connections on Craigslist. Sometimes people hate me, sometimes I am sorry.

Saturday

Waitress Actress Jessica / Magnolia - m4w - 35 (Pasadena Lake Ave)


Missed Connection:

Ms Jessica Diz Magnolia. So I actually worked up the nerve to ask for your number. So technically this is not a "missed connection" I was at Magnolia on Sunday night with my Aunt. You served us up some really great Cabernet and we chatted. You were oh so cute jumping on the bar as you were scared of the rats that were taking over the place. You have a really cool vibe and seem so sweet and your heart longs to be filled up with some real love just like mine. I could love getting to know you. We chatted about Cuban food. I called and left a message. I am taking a chance with fate that you might read this. I don't call a second time after leaving a message to call back. I think I gave you my business card as well. I am sad because I really was looking forward to hanging out. Yes I am very interested but you must return my call so we can hang out. I have never met someone with such grace and beauty. You are an amazing soul and I sense a really awesome talent that will one day win a Tony Award. God bless my beauty and maybe one day we can give love a chance. Please call.


My Response:
Famous director from Russia, you should put me in a movie. I will say a line like: "Stalin, you are so talented at many things." And then, if you let me ride your motorcycle to S, the hottest nightclub in LA, I will maybe give you a lap dance with all my clothes on-- including my favorite sweater that my grandma hand-knitted for Christmas. Do you like?

His Response:


I think you should give up acting and be a screen play writer or perhaps
a local traffic reporter. Then just maybe then you will be to ride on my motorcycle.

Do I know you?? You have some really big balls for a chick.
Just curious about something???? Do you actually know Jessica Diz at Magnolia? What would prompt you to respond to my add with such bizzare whimsical prose? And do you really want to go to this so called nightclub S? If so shoot me a photo with your digits and let's hang.

My Response:
Here ya go. 310) 847-5309

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About Me

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Writer. Published in Harper Perrenial's Six Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak, It All Changed in an Instant, as well as the front page of Smith's online magazine for more than 200 six word stories. Video art exhibited in Miranda July and Harrel Fletcher's "Learning to Love You More" gallery as well as the Baltic Contemporary Art Museum. Alessandra currently tells jokes all around Los Angeles and produces Heeb Magazine's monthly storytelling show in LA.