Missed Connection:
Recently I've been growing more and more tired of girls around my age (25). It seems like all they bring is games and bullshit. If they like you they only act like they kinda like you and then when you stop calling cause they don't seem to be all that interested they start acting crazy! This weekend I was thinking about it and decided that instead of looking for 23-26 year olds, I might fair better with a women who is in her 30's and has too much going for her to play games.
Any suggestions?
My Response:
30 year-old women like guys who wear Speedos. Buy a collection Kohl's today!
Friday
Brookline Booksmith - m4w
Missed Connection:
Your breasts were on display tonight in Brookline Booksmith (approx. 6:45PM). I'm guessing that was a B-cup. You're a brunette, a you had on a white bra/suit top holding in the goods and a black sweater over that. You caught me staring at least once... doh! Sorry, but they were right there as I walked in the door - I couldn't not look. Anyway, I'm very sure that outfit was no accident and you were turning heads everywhere you went today. It's Spring and you looked really phenomenal - all of you.
My Response:
You know what was also on display? My face. With makeup from Revlon. Mascara for long lashes- lipstick red from Covergirl. How about THAT? My breasts are yes, no accident- but your wandering eyes, I would say, are. How about you go to the titty bar to settle your fantasies? Bookstores are for reading, not jacking off. THANK YOU.
Your breasts were on display tonight in Brookline Booksmith (approx. 6:45PM). I'm guessing that was a B-cup. You're a brunette, a you had on a white bra/suit top holding in the goods and a black sweater over that. You caught me staring at least once... doh! Sorry, but they were right there as I walked in the door - I couldn't not look. Anyway, I'm very sure that outfit was no accident and you were turning heads everywhere you went today. It's Spring and you looked really phenomenal - all of you.
My Response:
You know what was also on display? My face. With makeup from Revlon. Mascara for long lashes- lipstick red from Covergirl. How about THAT? My breasts are yes, no accident- but your wandering eyes, I would say, are. How about you go to the titty bar to settle your fantasies? Bookstores are for reading, not jacking off. THANK YOU.
hottie on Colodny (in a nissan) - m4w - 28 (Agoura Hills)
Missed Connection:
you drove by and smiled at me and my friend
you are beautiful
i was on the sidewalk and you were in your car i couldnt talk to you
would you like to go to a comedy show with me?
My Response:
I don't like comedy shows - but you can get me a lap dance.
you drove by and smiled at me and my friend
you are beautiful
i was on the sidewalk and you were in your car i couldnt talk to you
would you like to go to a comedy show with me?
My Response:
I don't like comedy shows - but you can get me a lap dance.
the darkness of the moon - m4w - 26
Missed Connection:
dark is all i am dark is all i see waiting for light in the dark why?praying for light in the dark definetly wont work
My Response:
I'm a dark heart. Praying for anything (especially light) never usually works out. If you need a flashlight, I suggest getting one at the 99 cents store. That place is cheap. It probably won't come with batteries, though.
His Response:
wow that one totaly flew over your head
My Response:
I guess I didn't know if you were talking about God's light or an actual lamplight...
dark is all i am dark is all i see waiting for light in the dark why?praying for light in the dark definetly wont work
My Response:
I'm a dark heart. Praying for anything (especially light) never usually works out. If you need a flashlight, I suggest getting one at the 99 cents store. That place is cheap. It probably won't come with batteries, though.
His Response:
wow that one totaly flew over your head
My Response:
I guess I didn't know if you were talking about God's light or an actual lamplight...
Thursday
where are you at - m4w - 27 (palmdale)
Missed Connection:
jessica nunez.. met you when i was a teenager. you worked at McDonalds on I and 10th west. we saw eachother for a while.. chickadee. remember we kinda ended on bad terms but we spoke a bit after my son was born... i really want to get a hold of you. hit me up
My Response:
I don't wanna get negative and shit- but Paco, if your son is as kaka as you, I don't want to deal, yo! I went to SMC! I have a DEGREE. I still work at McDonald's- but that's besides the point. I work hard. Cooking bacon egg cheeseburgers is not fun. If I wanted to get a hold of your T-mobile, I would have *69ed you months ago. Ya- I know that heavy breathing was you!
jessica nunez.. met you when i was a teenager. you worked at McDonalds on I and 10th west. we saw eachother for a while.. chickadee. remember we kinda ended on bad terms but we spoke a bit after my son was born... i really want to get a hold of you. hit me up
My Response:
I don't wanna get negative and shit- but Paco, if your son is as kaka as you, I don't want to deal, yo! I went to SMC! I have a DEGREE. I still work at McDonald's- but that's besides the point. I work hard. Cooking bacon egg cheeseburgers is not fun. If I wanted to get a hold of your T-mobile, I would have *69ed you months ago. Ya- I know that heavy breathing was you!
Saturday
Beverly Glen center illegal shoes - m4w - 42 (Beverly glen center)
Missed Connection:
You were wearing blue dress with really hot pumps, maybe ysl python? At around 10:30 am on Saturday, u came out of the pharmacy. I saw you in the parking lot when you were leaving and said "nice shoes". You said they "are illegal in California" you then drove away in a vw wagon I think. If u see this, would like to meet you with the shoes..:)
My Response:
My shoes are made of ferrets, not pythons. I also sell illegal marijuana in the back of my VW wagon. Perhaps you would like to try the danger danger?
His Response:
Was mostly interested in you and the shoes...:) Perhaps I would though, is it good? can you meet on Monday? Have to be discreet. Let me know.
My Response:
I don't do discreet. Wear a clown suit or else.
You were wearing blue dress with really hot pumps, maybe ysl python? At around 10:30 am on Saturday, u came out of the pharmacy. I saw you in the parking lot when you were leaving and said "nice shoes". You said they "are illegal in California" you then drove away in a vw wagon I think. If u see this, would like to meet you with the shoes..:)
My Response:
My shoes are made of ferrets, not pythons. I also sell illegal marijuana in the back of my VW wagon. Perhaps you would like to try the danger danger?
His Response:
Was mostly interested in you and the shoes...:) Perhaps I would though, is it good? can you meet on Monday? Have to be discreet. Let me know.
My Response:
I don't do discreet. Wear a clown suit or else.
Friday
Mila Poonis - m4w - 99
Missed Connection:
you slut. i love you.
s.
My Response:
Let's clarify: I was only a slut on That 70's Show...not Family Guy.
you slut. i love you.
s.
My Response:
Let's clarify: I was only a slut on That 70's Show...not Family Guy.
target - m4w - 23 (burbank)
Missed Connection:
Well, we are in the age of technology, and if this is what it takes then so be it. Thought id give this a shot and not really expecting anything but why not.
You saw me in the shampoo isle at target... they didnt have pert... you took treseme. kinda funny. I gave you my $5 target gift card cause you were cute. I should have gotten your number .. no excuse. maby you'll see this, maby not. tell me what i was wearing. :)
My Response:
So glad you gave me the $5 gift card because I actually really wanted to buy dandruff shampoo. Nizoral. You were wearing a Dr. Phil shirt, right?
His Response (as Dante Rizzo):
lol no, try again.. btw if this is truly you then you would remember what i was wearing... you were wearing a red hat. nice name btw. Are you related to the rizzotti real estate agents?
My Response:
No- are you related to me?
His Response:
No--But I have one leg.
My Response:
Oh cool. I love one leggers.
Well, we are in the age of technology, and if this is what it takes then so be it. Thought id give this a shot and not really expecting anything but why not.
You saw me in the shampoo isle at target... they didnt have pert... you took treseme. kinda funny. I gave you my $5 target gift card cause you were cute. I should have gotten your number .. no excuse. maby you'll see this, maby not. tell me what i was wearing. :)
My Response:
So glad you gave me the $5 gift card because I actually really wanted to buy dandruff shampoo. Nizoral. You were wearing a Dr. Phil shirt, right?
His Response (as Dante Rizzo):
lol no, try again.. btw if this is truly you then you would remember what i was wearing... you were wearing a red hat. nice name btw. Are you related to the rizzotti real estate agents?
My Response:
No- are you related to me?
His Response:
No--But I have one leg.
My Response:
Oh cool. I love one leggers.
couple fkin outside dodger stadium after game - m4w - 20 (dodger stadium)
Missed Connection:
U guys turned on ur truck n just parked with us there a hundred feet away n I saw ur black truck movin a lil...
A few seconds passed n I noticed u were getting down n dirty! Lol
Mad props!!! U were a hottie! N being a huge dodger fan made u hotter! Didn't even get ur name...
Let me no if ur down to kick it...
My Response:
My boyfriend doesn't like getting with dudes, if that's what you want, Rodrigo.
His Response:
Lmao I can't believe that shit worked....
No am not gay... I didn't mean it like that... It's just girls that love dodgers like u do is pretty rare to find... u seem like the faithful kind anyways...
Venny the jet Rod
My Response:
Venancio, You are right. I'm so faithful I just let boys WATCH me have sex with my boyfriend outside his truck...or off my webcam...! CRAZY!!!
U guys turned on ur truck n just parked with us there a hundred feet away n I saw ur black truck movin a lil...
A few seconds passed n I noticed u were getting down n dirty! Lol
Mad props!!! U were a hottie! N being a huge dodger fan made u hotter! Didn't even get ur name...
Let me no if ur down to kick it...
My Response:
My boyfriend doesn't like getting with dudes, if that's what you want, Rodrigo.
His Response:
Lmao I can't believe that shit worked....
No am not gay... I didn't mean it like that... It's just girls that love dodgers like u do is pretty rare to find... u seem like the faithful kind anyways...
Venny the jet Rod
My Response:
Venancio, You are right. I'm so faithful I just let boys WATCH me have sex with my boyfriend outside his truck...or off my webcam...! CRAZY!!!
Britney spears concert - m4w - 29 (staple center)
Missed Connection:
Asia girl around section 108 you where with 3 other girl friend. You where warring white muscle shirt and blue/grey scarf. Your friend was warring purple off the shoulder blouses.
My Response:
I'm glad you knew what my friends and I were wearing. Were you the guy in the butt shorts? OMIGOD Britney was so amazing dancing with those CLOWNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His Response:
Nope we where kind of seat near you can I see a pix of you and your friend to make sure it the right person that I'm talking about?
maja24@charter.net or give my space or facebook
My Response:
I was the one with the teddy bear...
Asia girl around section 108 you where with 3 other girl friend. You where warring white muscle shirt and blue/grey scarf. Your friend was warring purple off the shoulder blouses.
My Response:
I'm glad you knew what my friends and I were wearing. Were you the guy in the butt shorts? OMIGOD Britney was so amazing dancing with those CLOWNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His Response:
Nope we where kind of seat near you can I see a pix of you and your friend to make sure it the right person that I'm talking about?
maja24@charter.net or give my space or facebook
My Response:
I was the one with the teddy bear...
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About Me
- Alessandra Rizzotti
- Writer. Published in Harper Perrenial's Six Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak, It All Changed in an Instant, as well as the front page of Smith's online magazine for more than 200 six word stories. Video art exhibited in Miranda July and Harrel Fletcher's "Learning to Love You More" gallery as well as the Baltic Contemporary Art Museum. Alessandra currently tells jokes all around Los Angeles and produces Heeb Magazine's monthly storytelling show in LA.
