I MISSED YOU MISSING ME (ON CRAIGSLIST)

I was in line at Pavillions, and wanted to buy you candy :-) - m4w - 40 (sherman oaks)

2010-11-05T15:51:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:

I was in Pavillions around 1pm today, in a blue dress shirt and a tie, wearing sunglasses. You were working and jokingly told your friend I would buy you some candy. You are beautiful, and I was blown away by your beauty!!!! If you see this message, please reply!!

My Response:

What kind of candy are we talking here? I want some Butterfingers right now.

His Response:

butterfingers are good ! was that you at pavillions???

My Response:

Man I wish that "beauty" was me. I'm actually pretty fugly.

His Response: have you ever considered modeling? :-)

My Response: I did that when I was 5 once. I guess I could try to be a foot model. I have nice ankles. Then again, my toenails kinda suck.

crystal rose - m4w (east los angeles)

2010-11-05T15:40:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:

sometime i just can't go on you still haunt me my thoughts everywhere

we used to go and hang out

everything i do reminds me of you but hopefuly one day you'll come

back thats the only thing

keeping me alive and the picture of you i keep in my wallet is the

only thing i have left of you

maybe someday we'll meet again maybe someday we'll be one again till

then im dying slowly and painfully

i just cant seem to wake up from this endless nightmare you where my

little piece of heaven in hell

now im burning with hate and sadness with out you i dont like feeling

this way i need you

your pudgy

listen do you want to know a secret do you promise not to tell woo ooh

listen let me whiper in you ear i'll say the words

you long to hear woo ooh im in love with

My Response:

Aw man, you're pudgy now?

His Response:

i am sorry but your not my crystal

and pudgy was what she called when

she needed me or wanted me now she is gone

My Response:

Wow- I'm sorry. Where did she go?

His Response:

a friend took her from me that is why she is gone.......

My Response:

Beat your friend up. He's a LOSER.

His Response:

i did beat him up.

my name is manuel.

what is yours?

My Response:

Al -- Here's my pic. Do you have one?

Elizebeth - m4w (Lancaster)

2010-11-05T15:23:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:

We met in My computer shop. Someone stole My wallet, so I don't have your number anymore. I'd love to spend some time with you. You always wore barely anything & teased Me with your body. Lol btw ... How's your young son? Hopefully you read this section and you remember Me? What else did I sell in My computer store?

My Reply:

hard drives?

His Reply (as "J bone"):

ahhh...yeah. But what else did I sell there besides computer equipment? Or better yet...what do I look like? and what do you look like?

My Reply:

I look like this...

But, you look like these gangsta dudes. LOL. Who's cuter? Me duh!!!

FEAR - m4w - 42 (Waiting in the Shadows)

2010-11-05T15:15:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:

I AM FEAR.

AND I AM NEAR,

THAT PIECE OF ASS,

SHALL COST YOU DEAR.

AT WHAT HOUR AND

ON WHAT DAY?

AT THE TIME THAT I APPEAR.......

FOR ONLY A SECONDYOU'LL AGREE

THAT I WAS FEAR.........

-jm 2010

My Reply:

You got that right!

His Reply:

:-) Thanks

My Reply:

You're a poetry major, right?

J lounge - m4w - 24 (LA)

2010-11-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:

I had a pretty good time dancing with you. I wish we could have dance some more. I didn't get a chance to get your number. It's a long shot but I thought I'd give it a chance. You were in your 20s, sexy body, wearing sexy jeans and black top.

Me: Describe me so that I know it's you.

Email me, maybe we can coffee or hit the club again :)

My Response:

oh man! were you that dude in the sexy kitty costume!!?!? LOL!!!!

His Response: Hahaha! Maybe next year I'll be the sexy kitty :P

My Response: I suggest you come up with your own idea. Don't steal mine. Jeeez Louise.

Bardot Aqualung show Monday Night - m4w (Hollywood)

2010-11-03T16:26:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:

At the Aqualung show at Bardot in Hollywood last Monday. You were wearing a biege-ish top, kind of a shirt/dress with dark tights, and had short brown hair. Very cute. Did I mention very cute? We did look at each other several times. but perhaps you were thinking "why is that guy looking at me?". Or maybe not. You left with a guy in plaid, although it seemed somewhat random.

My Response:

It was random that I left with a guy in plaid pants, because usually I like pleather.

His Response:

Don't get me started on pleather. Oh and by the way, I think it was just his shirt that was plaid.

missedyouoncraigslist.blogspot.com

So I guess you weren't at the show? That's ok. You're still pretty

cute for someone who fell down a 60 ft. cliff. You must have only hit your head a few times.

My Response:

Nope not cute at all. I broke my neck, jaw, teeth, knees, etc. I'm a nasty thing to look at.

His Response:

Don't be so harsh on yourself.

My Response:

It's how my mother raised me.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego!? - m4w - 25 (Closing of Weho Halloween Party)

2010-11-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:

I finally spotted the infamous villainess Carmen Sandiego. It was towards the end of the Weho Halloween Party. Walking west toward Doheny I spotted her! Disguised undercover as a priest, I shouted "Carmen Sandiego!"She turned and I saw her face - her electric gaze, ruby red lipstick and warm smile stopped mecold. However, Carmen is a creature of habit... After uttering a few words, she stunned mewith her sweet lyrical voice. At that exact moment a crowd of party-goers came between us. I turned myhead and she was gone, disappearing into the writhing sea of people flowing out of the party near La Peer.

Carmen, you're no doubt planning another heist somewhere around the globe. Before you leave, this A.C.M.E. detective would love to take you out for drinks to toast the success of your next great caper...

My Response:

Next time I won't wear red.

His Response:

Good! I can finally take you to a bullfight and not worry about your safety.

What WILL you be wearing? And don't say neck brace because we are SO not cleaning that thing afterwards.

My Response:

How dare you think that I'd be the victim in a bullfight. I'm properly trained in the art. That bull would find his horns AND heart smothered by my neckbrace.

FedEx at 5pm- m4w-36 (Beverly Center Adjacent)

2010-11-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:

Our eyes met briefly as I got in line and you were near the copiers, apparently waiting for your turn. You were all in black, in tall boots, looking stunningly beautiful. I wanted to say hello, but I was in a rush to get my packages off....I saw you again as I was driving off and you walked across the corner gas station while on the phone. The opportunity was there to say helo, but I think it may have been awkward. I'd give anything to have that moment back ;)

My Response:
You should have showed me your chest way sooner.

mynocturnalemission.com - m4w - 20 (hereinyourarms)

2010-02-10T16:40:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
where are you?

My Response:
ifeelawkward.com

To the smoking hot woman I passed on my vespa - m4w (Government Code Analyst)

2010-01-25T22:54:00.001-08:00

Missed Connection:
You drive me crazy,
But I like it.

My Response:
I make you think of crop circles?

IHOP-Beautiful woman in red shirt - m4w - 40 (Washington & Norwalk)

2010-01-25T22:47:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
saw you with two children at IHOP while I was having a business meeting. I wanted to get your phone number but I didn't want to put of my business partner. Please get back to me if you are interested in getting to know each other.

My Response:
I didn't know IHOP hosted business meetings. Do you get free pancakes? Also...I've grown since you last saw me...is that ok?

Has anyone ever seen this face, randomly walking around, or some shit? - m4w - 23 (Monterey Park, CA)

2010-01-25T22:41:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
If you have, you should have fucking said Hello Mr. Q!!!! :)

Hello all, this has been a Kevin Q. production. Good fuckin' day I say!
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I'm high bitch!!!!

Long live the 80's!!! Skid Row!!! And Marijuana!!! And beautiful ladies of the world :)

Awesome, fucking A.

My Response:
WoohooO! You said it! Skid Row! I love that place!

Message from the Black Star - m4w (forever memory)

2009-12-16T14:34:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
maiṁ tumhārī ām̐khōṁ kī pīṭha mēṁ prakāśa kara rahā hūm̐

My Response:
Is this a secret message from Avil Lavigne's perfume campaign?

27th Most Beautiful Woman in World: - m4w

2009-12-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
Call Mike

My Response:
Why would I do that if I'm only number 27? Can you list off the other 26?

The Last Time - m4w (The 'Hood)

2009-12-16T11:39:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
Can you feel it in the air, in your bones? Does it make any difference now? If you've still got something to say, say it now while I am back in town for the holidays. Who knows how long I'll be gone for next time.

My Response:
I do feel it in my bones. Your poem to me is like the tagline of the best indie feature ever created.

dear amoeba girl - m4w (amoeba)

2009-12-16T11:25:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:

i made fun of you for sounding like a robot. then you gave me like 4 pins to make up for it.

lets make more jokes to each other! email me!

yay!

My Response:
It's not a joke...I have prosthetic arms.

Hello Katt :) Lets Do Lunch - m4w - 49 (Wal-Mart * San Gabriel )

2009-12-16T11:12:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
Hello Katt,
Who’s works in the jewelry department at Wal-Mart. I would like to take you out for dinner.

My Response:
Oh my Bejesus, is this Tommy who works in Sporting Goods? Because I saw you playing with those bats and balls the other day and I thought you looked so profesh and cute-- like in a baseball player type of way. Where you wanna go to dinner? I like Hot Wings...but I could also always go for Pizza Hut...oh and have you ever been to PF Changs????

You are my dream:

Looking for Sugar - m4w - 42 (LAX)

2009-12-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:

"Where's Sugar???"

Looking for dancer named Sugar who used to work at Century Club near LAX.

Have her call Bill and tell me where she is.

My Response:
Too bad sugar found some cream...

His Reponse:
haha -- could be...

Oh Well,

One never knows what the future brings.

Have a great day,

Bill

My Response:
My question is, why Sugar?

His Response:
we had a special connection.
the club closed and i miss seeing her.

My Response:
You should try googling her real name. Does she have one?

His Response:

I never got her real name.

The last night the club was open was a blast, but things got crazy and it got late...

I figure that it is all up to "the fates" at this point. I may run into her at another club sometime.

One never knows what the future brings.

My Response:
Hopefully the future brings Sugar...or at least a mildly talented stripper named Sweet n Lo.

Any thick women out there? - m4w - 39 (West Valley)

2009-07-01T15:24:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Any short thick women out there that want to have a few drinks and go skinny dipping tonight?

My Response:
Does this work?

LOOKING!!!!!!!! - m4w - 42 (CM)

2009-07-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
RONA FOX!!!!!!!! AKA(BOBO) WOULD LIKE TO FIND HER OR SEE IF SHE IS STILL SINGLE?????? IF ANYONE KNOWS OF HER PLEASE HIT ME UP...

My Response:
I'm Rona Fox, but I don't look like a Japanese Anime character. Sorry to disappoint. Perhaps I'll get plastic surgery so I can look like one?

EDC I had a mowhawk vibrating gloves - m4w - 26 (EDC)

2009-07-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
I thought we had a awesome connection and I wish I wouldn't have run off to try to find my friends they were gone and then I came back and you had left. I was the dude with the mowhawk and the vibrating gloves....remember me??? RUN DMC shirt like a really og hahahaha hit me up we should go out sometime! You were totally rad!

My Response:
My only question: What do vibrating gloves DO?

I don't get it DF - m4w - 25 (Hollywood/the valley)

2009-06-08T01:44:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
We were friends and it was amazIng...then I fell for you. It first happened in Boston but it moved west and we confronted it here. You were separated from him for a minute, and I should have seized the moment. I did not. You said you would have been okay with it, what a
cruel thing to say to a man who is head over heels for
you when he no longer has a chance. After that we
didn't talk for a while at your request; I was okay with that. I grew to accept it more as the days went by and then you texted me on my birthday. The very next night you asked to meet you with some girl friends of yours.I am so confused. Why do you play around with me?

I wrote a song about this

My Response:
I wrote an album, novel, AND comic strip about how confusing we are to each other. I've also turned it into a 3 hour epic film. Don't tell ME I don't LOVE you.

His Response:
Did I say that you didn't? And an epic 3 hour film really? Kudos

My Response:
Well it's three hours if you add the slow motion photo presentations of all our vacations to Santa Barbara.

LETTER TO LINDSAY LOHAN - m4w - 23 (BEVERLY HILLS)

2009-06-08T01:39:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
LINDSAY, I THINK YOU ARE A VERRY GORGIOUS PERSON INSIDE AND OUT. SURE YOU GOT ISSUES AND DRAMA BUT I FIND MY SELF FALLING FOR YOU. YOU CAN TRY AND PUSH ME AWAY BUT IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE SO WHEN YOUR READY TO HAVE ANYTYPE OF A RELATIONSHIP. YOU KNOW HOW TO REACH ME. I WOULDENT STAY IN TOUCH IF I DIDNT THINK YOU WERE WORTH MY TIME. YOUR MY 24/7 PIECE OF HEAVEN.. I CAN LEARN TO LOVE YOUR FAULTS IF YOU CAN DO THE SAME WITH ME. ALL MY LOVE AND MORE.
JOSHUA PERRY

My Response:
I don't trust people that like me.

His Response:
maybe you should get over some of those trust issues if this in fact really is you. not everyones out to get you.

My Response:
Let's talk about paparazzi.

His Response:
who the fuck cares about paparatzi.lol there only good if ya need more publicity lol

My Response:
The paparazzi have RUINED my life. Then again, I just posted a nude photo of myself on Twitter...so...

I SAW YOU.. - m4w - 21 (snoewhereonearth)

2009-06-08T01:36:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
in my dreams you were more real then anything ive ever seen i felt like a touch from you put me to sleep for eternity in bliss
...but this is the real world here an it can never be....thats why i hate mainstream rapp music..

My Response:
You say I am just in your dreams, but your dreams can become realities. You say you hate "mainstream rapp music," but mainstream rap music is all about being real. Missy Elliot said in an Adidas ad: "Staying true is all you gotta do." So seriously dawg, stay true.

A cougar on the prowl? - m4w - 22 (Glendale Galleria)

2009-05-16T01:04:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
About a week back I was hanging out with my friend and you passed by us about 3 times.
The last time you passed, we made eye contact and you licked your lips.

Was this just a coincidence? Or did you want take me out or something?

My Response:
That was Pinkberry that dribbled down my chin. Gotta lick it up or else I look a little stupid. You thought I was sexy though? That's awesome because I am 54 today. Way to make a lady with liver damage smile!

His Response:
haha.
anytime.
be careful with pinkberry, it can get alittle messy and wild!

Waitress Actress Jessica / Magnolia - m4w - 35 (Pasadena Lake Ave)

2009-05-16T00:55:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Ms Jessica Diz Magnolia. So I actually worked up the nerve to ask for your number. So technically this is not a "missed connection" I was at Magnolia on Sunday night with my Aunt. You served us up some really great Cabernet and we chatted. You were oh so cute jumping on the bar as you were scared of the rats that were taking over the place. You have a really cool vibe and seem so sweet and your heart longs to be filled up with some real love just like mine. I could love getting to know you. We chatted about Cuban food. I called and left a message. I am taking a chance with fate that you might read this. I don't call a second time after leaving a message to call back. I think I gave you my business card as well. I am sad because I really was looking forward to hanging out. Yes I am very interested but you must return my call so we can hang out. I have never met someone with such grace and beauty. You are an amazing soul and I sense a really awesome talent that will one day win a Tony Award. God bless my beauty and maybe one day we can give love a chance. Please call.

My Response:
Famous director from Russia, you should put me in a movie. I will say a line like: "Stalin, you are so talented at many things." And then, if you let me ride your motorcycle to S, the hottest nightclub in LA, I will maybe give you a lap dance with all my clothes on-- including my favorite sweater that my grandma hand-knitted for Christmas. Do you like?

His Response:

I think you should give up acting and be a screen play writer or perhaps
a local traffic reporter. Then just maybe then you will be to ride on my motorcycle.

Do I know you?? You have some really big balls for a chick.
Just curious about something???? Do you actually know Jessica Diz at Magnolia? What would prompt you to respond to my add with such bizzare whimsical prose? And do you really want to go to this so called nightclub S? If so shoot me a photo with your digits and let's hang.

My Response:
Here ya go. 310) 847-5309

I told you your ass looked amazing in those jeans - m4w - 35 (silverlake)

2009-05-16T00:47:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
And then I had to leave. I'm sure you remember me but I think you were there with someone. Let me know if you're interested
My Response:
Was it these jeans? Because if so, can you believe I got them at KMART? Total find.

His Reponse:
Could be.

My Response:
That's vague.

LAUSD Beaudry HQ Asian Female Police Officer - m4w - 30 (Downtown LA)

2009-05-16T00:29:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
You: Female police officer, about 5'3'', age 25-30, Vietnamese, square-lens sunglasses with partial navy-blue tint, hair in bun, standing in delivery bay with three male officers, not involved with their conversation.
That's all I remember from the split second glance. lol
Me: Dashing caucasian guy who walked by and noticed you checking me out (uhh...I mean you were practicing standard law-enforcement vigilance. lol)
Date and time: Friday, 5/15, approx 3pm.
I would like to buy you a steak dinner and a Crispy Creme. :)

My Response:
I will handcuff you if you buy me steak. Deal?

His Response:

Hey,

As a former Simpsons writer and member of the Harvard mafia, I feel compelled to give you a verbal beat down for your appalling behavior of answering Craigslist missed connections ads and then posting the exchange on your missed connections blog. You are the mediocre exemplar of USC grads with TV Arts degrees whose shit I fix all day long. Money from heaven, baby, straight into my bank account. Praise the Lord.

Comedy is tickling the heart of the audience through the mind. What do you do? Slam a wooden stake (in my case, a prop steak) through the hearts of regular people sincerely seeking a connection. Ha ha! So funny! Ha ha! This fool really thinks I'm his missed connection. Ha ha ha!

It took me a few seconds to ascertain that your response was fake, and another minute to find your blog and networking sites. What about the not-so-smart guy whose eyes lit up upon seeing your bogus response, only to feel scammed in the end? Poor guy. Multiply that guy by 100's, based on your blog count.

Get some empathy. This is what you lack, and why you'll never be great at comedy.

What galls me is how the sisterhood hires somewhat amusing (at best) females like you whose sense of humor is at the level of the average guy. You're like a WNBA player needing a separate league to avoid competing with the real talent, and the only people who watch are friends, family, and niche segments. Everyone knows it sucks and chuckles about it in private.

Since you're not funny, you should do something useful with your life, like maybe process insurance forms, a task that you might actually be good at, for which you could actually get paid.

Here's my answer to you: No deal. I wouldn't let you varnish my baton.

Life lesson: Don't fuck with strangers, because they might work in your industry (I'm NBA, you're WNBA), don't forget) and be disinclined to help you should professional paths cross.

Feel free to post this on your blog. People will read it, think I'm an asshole, yet silently acknowledge that I'm right.

Good day.

My Response:
You're right. I'm wrong. I should go to Harvard and get some smarts.

Victoria - VEGAS - m4w - 28 (Los Feliz)

2009-05-16T00:24:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
we had a great time at Pure, where the hell did you go??????????

My Response:
Pure was like too "clean" for me. I decided to go to Contaminated. Have you heard of it? They sell shots with extra tequila and red bull. So Lindsay Lohan it makes me tingle!

Cute Black Female at PF Changs Bar Monday Nite - m4w - 39 (Woodland Hills)

2009-05-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
You were the cute black female sitting by herself at the far left of the bar watching the Nuggets game. I (male, blonde, yellow shirt) was on a date (first) and it seemed like our eyes kept meeting. Let me know if you'd like to talk.

My Response:
Only if you buy me some chicken nuggets with barbeque sauce.

XPO-Cynthia - m4w - 36 (Canoga Park)

2009-05-12T02:36:00.001-07:00

Missed Connection:
Hey Cynthia - I hope you check this out, and want to connect...You took advantage of me twice, which I enjoyed myself. I like a strong women who knows what she wants and how to get it. I's like to be taken advantage again...and hope to see you Tuesday. In your email, let me know how you took advantage of me, and also send a picture. I'll return one once I verify you are who I met. Talk soon. Really interested in "connecting".

My Response:
This was at the porn x-po, correct? I go to a lot of x-pos where I can find burly men because I like a nice motorcycle ride with a burly guy. We did it on your Harley, correct? Your name's Horatio? I liked the tats on your skull. Good choice of crossbones with the nice touch of your child's name underneath. Well-- I'll be at the x-po Tuesday- so ya- let's hit your Harley and make it a moving violation. LOVE IT and KISS IT!

Chesley the rocket scientist - m4w - 25 (Monte Carlo, Las Vegas)

2009-05-12T02:02:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Probably spelled your name wrong so sorry in advance. I'm sure it's a long shot and you won't see it but worth a try... You came by looking for a lighter we did not have one, but you came back anyways for a drink. If this sounds familiar lets confirm some details.

My Response:
Details=fuzzy. Did it involve a mechanical bull ride? ELVIS and a really BIG straw??? A lot of deviled eggs at the buffet?? A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE AT CIRCUS CIRCUS WITH MY TOP OFF?? I don't THINK I said I was a rocket scientist- but I do remember yelling to the Labyrinth impressionist: "David Bowie is no fucking Rocket Man!!! I know because I'm a ROCKET SCIENTIST!" (I'm SO embarrassed because Bowie really IS the rocket man. DUH). Anyways- I'm not a rocket scientist. I just wanted to use your lighter because it was fancy and shit.

Venice Beach Redhead... - m4w - 23 (Venice Beach)

2009-05-12T01:44:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:

We spoke shortly at the drum circle two Saturdays ago shortly before sunset. I was wearing a red sweater, you had short red hair, a green shirt and a deep, understanding look . Your beauty paralyzed me when I saw you...I just had to talk to you even though so many guys wanted your attention. But you dismissed them, I saw your smile when you looked at me. I hope to run into you some time again.

My Response:
Would you ever drum your djembe and act like a priest from Zimbabwe? That would so turn me on-- even more than the winter's solstice. Hope to see you at the circle next week. Bring a bowl and we'll dance till the sun goes down.

PASSION:

His Response:
You've got a deal. My Zimbabwean priest moves are rusty but I'll do what I can...

My Response:
Radsauce. Will you wear dreds? Bob Marley style?

His Response:
I definitely wish I had a ridiculous trademark that would allow me to easily fit in with the badass dudes there but I got nothing at the moment.

My Response:
Not sure I can dig...How about you get a fake dred hat from one of the Venice merchants?

His Response:
I have considered the rasta plunge, but little did I know the power it would hold with women...it will be considered. Give me a few years to get on it, in the mean time I'll see you there with that bowl...

you kept asking, "whats my name?" ---------- its a long shot, but i havent forgetten what your name is :)

2009-05-07T16:56:00.000-07:00

My Response:
Soooo...what's your name?

His Response:
hey, my names cristian, but ummm, who is this again? hope youre havin a good one, cheers!

My Response:
I thought you didn't forget my name. I mean, why would you? It's Fantasia Rodriguez Lopez. I'm your long lost lover from Craigslist.

His Response:
Do you have a facebook/myspace?

My Response:
I have a Friendster.

His Response:
no :( but i'd like to see ya!

My Response:
Ok- here:

rock star fantasy camp - m4w (whiskey)

2009-05-07T16:51:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Blonde with white tank T shirt.
You were with your boyfriend i think
caught you looking a few times. interested?

My Response:
Only if you like Bon Jovi...and Kid Rock- THE MASTERS!!

AFRO-PUFFS are so delicious, my favorite post-lunch snack! - m4w - 99 (24Hr Fitness PASADENA (Oakland/Colorado))

2009-05-07T16:10:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
On a light-skinned beauty like SHE moved on the treadmill, afro-puffs are especially delicious.
Here's to the hottie in black, who I wish could have been my mid-day snack!

My Response:
You be a cheese-puff. Cheddar style. Give me some salsa and I'll make you mine..

His Response (Name: Niki kii):
I love that picture! And is that hottie in the tub of puffs YOU?
If so I'm truly honored by your message? Who and where are you?

My Response:
I'm in outerspace. My name's Lupita Mendoza. (Sorry I'm not black). I like bathing in cheese wiz, though!

What's with all the hot 30-somethings around today?? - m4w - 25 (Burbank)

2009-04-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Recently I've been growing more and more tired of girls around my age (25). It seems like all they bring is games and bullshit. If they like you they only act like they kinda like you and then when you stop calling cause they don't seem to be all that interested they start acting crazy! This weekend I was thinking about it and decided that instead of looking for 23-26 year olds, I might fair better with a women who is in her 30's and has too much going for her to play games.

Any suggestions?

My Response:
30 year-old women like guys who wear Speedos. Buy a collection Kohl's today!

Brookline Booksmith - m4w

2009-04-24T19:00:00.001-07:00

Missed Connection:
Your breasts were on display tonight in Brookline Booksmith (approx. 6:45PM). I'm guessing that was a B-cup. You're a brunette, a you had on a white bra/suit top holding in the goods and a black sweater over that. You caught me staring at least once... doh! Sorry, but they were right there as I walked in the door - I couldn't not look. Anyway, I'm very sure that outfit was no accident and you were turning heads everywhere you went today. It's Spring and you looked really phenomenal - all of you.

My Response:
You know what was also on display? My face. With makeup from Revlon. Mascara for long lashes- lipstick red from Covergirl. How about THAT? My breasts are yes, no accident- but your wandering eyes, I would say, are. How about you go to the titty bar to settle your fantasies? Bookstores are for reading, not jacking off. THANK YOU.

hottie on Colodny (in a nissan) - m4w - 28 (Agoura Hills)

2009-04-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
you drove by and smiled at me and my friend
you are beautiful
i was on the sidewalk and you were in your car i couldnt talk to you
would you like to go to a comedy show with me?

My Response:
I don't like comedy shows - but you can get me a lap dance.

the darkness of the moon - m4w - 26

2009-04-24T18:36:00.001-07:00

Missed Connection:
dark is all i am dark is all i see waiting for light in the dark why?praying for light in the dark definetly wont work

My Response:
I'm a dark heart. Praying for anything (especially light) never usually works out. If you need a flashlight, I suggest getting one at the 99 cents store. That place is cheap. It probably won't come with batteries, though.

His Response:
wow that one totaly flew over your head

My Response:
I guess I didn't know if you were talking about God's light or an actual lamplight...

where are you at - m4w - 27 (palmdale)

2009-04-23T14:22:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
jessica nunez.. met you when i was a teenager. you worked at McDonalds on I and 10th west. we saw eachother for a while.. chickadee. remember we kinda ended on bad terms but we spoke a bit after my son was born... i really want to get a hold of you. hit me up

My Response:
I don't wanna get negative and shit- but Paco, if your son is as kaka as you, I don't want to deal, yo! I went to SMC! I have a DEGREE. I still work at McDonald's- but that's besides the point. I work hard. Cooking bacon egg cheeseburgers is not fun. If I wanted to get a hold of your T-mobile, I would have *69ed you months ago. Ya- I know that heavy breathing was you!

Beverly Glen center illegal shoes - m4w - 42 (Beverly glen center)

2009-04-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
You were wearing blue dress with really hot pumps, maybe ysl python? At around 10:30 am on Saturday, u came out of the pharmacy. I saw you in the parking lot when you were leaving and said "nice shoes". You said they "are illegal in California" you then drove away in a vw wagon I think. If u see this, would like to meet you with the shoes..:)

My Response:
My shoes are made of ferrets, not pythons. I also sell illegal marijuana in the back of my VW wagon. Perhaps you would like to try the danger danger?

His Response:
Was mostly interested in you and the shoes...:) Perhaps I would though, is it good? can you meet on Monday? Have to be discreet. Let me know.

My Response:
I don't do discreet. Wear a clown suit or else.

Mila Poonis - m4w - 99

2009-04-17T15:51:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
you slut. i love you.
s.

My Response:
Let's clarify: I was only a slut on That 70's Show...not Family Guy.

target - m4w - 23 (burbank)

2009-04-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Well, we are in the age of technology, and if this is what it takes then so be it. Thought id give this a shot and not really expecting anything but why not.

You saw me in the shampoo isle at target... they didnt have pert... you took treseme. kinda funny. I gave you my $5 target gift card cause you were cute. I should have gotten your number .. no excuse. maby you'll see this, maby not. tell me what i was wearing. :)

My Response:
So glad you gave me the $5 gift card because I actually really wanted to buy dandruff shampoo. Nizoral. You were wearing a Dr. Phil shirt, right?

His Response (as Dante Rizzo):
lol no, try again.. btw if this is truly you then you would remember what i was wearing... you were wearing a red hat. nice name btw. Are you related to the rizzotti real estate agents?

My Response:
No- are you related to me?

His Response:
No--But I have one leg.

My Response:
Oh cool. I love one leggers.

couple fkin outside dodger stadium after game - m4w - 20 (dodger stadium)

2009-04-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
U guys turned on ur truck n just parked with us there a hundred feet away n I saw ur black truck movin a lil...
A few seconds passed n I noticed u were getting down n dirty! Lol
Mad props!!! U were a hottie! N being a huge dodger fan made u hotter! Didn't even get ur name...

Let me no if ur down to kick it...

My Response:
My boyfriend doesn't like getting with dudes, if that's what you want, Rodrigo.

His Response:
Lmao I can't believe that shit worked....
No am not gay... I didn't mean it like that... It's just girls that love dodgers like u do is pretty rare to find... u seem like the faithful kind anyways...
Venny the jet Rod

My Response:
Venancio, You are right. I'm so faithful I just let boys WATCH me have sex with my boyfriend outside his truck...or off my webcam...! CRAZY!!!

Britney spears concert - m4w - 29 (staple center)

2009-04-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Asia girl around section 108 you where with 3 other girl friend. You where warring white muscle shirt and blue/grey scarf. Your friend was warring purple off the shoulder blouses.

My Response:
I'm glad you knew what my friends and I were wearing. Were you the guy in the butt shorts? OMIGOD Britney was so amazing dancing with those CLOWNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

His Response:
Nope we where kind of seat near you can I see a pix of you and your friend to make sure it the right person that I'm talking about?

maja24@charter.net or give my space or facebook

My Response:
I was the one with the teddy bear...

HOT GIRL at BJS late last night - m4w - 28 (woodland hills)

2009-03-31T23:03:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
you were there wtih a group of guys, you were so hot, we made eye contact for a second when you were leaving,,,,do you remember

My Response:
I only remember how hot I was :0

His Response:
so this is you

His Response (a day later):
Are you the girl? Do you remember me?

My Response:
White tracksuit? Really cool flat cap? You're so FUBU. I love it.

His Response:
No not even close. Red shirt baby blue puma jacket

My Response:
That's still really stylish....do you have a baby blue tracksuit perchance?

His Response:
Send me a pic.

My Response:
Ok...here goes:

Need nice girl! - m4w - 27 (Los Angeles)

2009-03-21T20:22:00.001-07:00

Missed Connection:

HI,MY NAME IS SIMONE.IM 27YEARS OLD ! I LOVE SPORTS,MUSIC,MOVIES,FASHION AND BEAUTIFUL GIRLS. SHE NEED TO BE VERY NICE PERSON . SEND ME PICS IF YOU INTERESTED!GRAZIE MILLE!

My Response:
I wish I was Italian like you! I can't understand a word you are saying!

RUIN last night - m4w - 31 (The Dungeon)

2009-03-21T17:54:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
I saw you originally outside at the art gallery. We exchanged a couple glances...
Then I saw you again at the bar briefly.
And then in the dungeon...a few more glances.
You were talking to some old (almost grampa) dude who was wearing a top hat.
I was with a girl, sitting on the couch, watching the couples on display...I was wearing all black with red leather shoes.
If you end up reading this, get back to me...

My Response:
Your style's impeccable. The vampire teeth turned me on. When will we meet in the dungeon again? Will you wear a top hat? (It's a fetish of mine). What can I say? The Victorian era rules.

Sexy Breakfast at Jitters - m4w (Hermosa Beach)

2009-03-21T17:40:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
You were sitting at a booth and we exchanged glances. I noticed you rubbing your thighs and it made me hot. I wouldn't mind doing that myself! Let me know if you're interested in me. Send photo so I know it's you. I won't forget your face.

My Response:
I was rubbing my thighs because I have skin grafts. Going to the dermatologist on Monday. Here's my photo!

Bravo Pizza - m4w (Santa Monica)

2009-03-18T18:37:00.001-07:00

Missed Connection:
Hey there, we talked about the pizza, the moon and the universe last night. Was one of those guys your boyfriend?

My Response:
The universe is definitely my boyfriend.

H&R BLOCK - m4w (westwood)

2009-03-16T01:27:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
oh my god girl your everything i've ever wanted...

My Response:
I didn't know doing my taxes would make someone fall in love with me. I better do them all the time now.

standard hotel rooftop 8.8..07. - m4w - 38 (dallas)

2009-03-16T01:14:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
I don't want any fat chicks "accidentally" mailing me, got it ?! Flavor Flav got problems of his own.
This bitch was off the f___ing chain. Tell her I love her.

My Response:
I told her you loved her soul. Is that good?

His Response:
That is very good.
k

My Response:
Your photography is amazing.

KFChoo.com - m4w (Covina)

2009-03-16T00:28:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Carrie, we were co-workers at kfc, are you out there?

My Response:
I AM out here. It sucks. Remember the fat lady who used to come in and always order a bucket of chicken and we'd say, "For here or to go?" and she would say: "Excccuuuuse me- does it look like I can eat a whole bucket of chicken by myself?" And then you would say: "Bitch- I don't know your life!" Well, I saw her at Popeye's the other day and I finally told her she was a liar about the whole bucket of chicken thing (and being fat). It felt so good. How are you? Still thinking of founding KFChoo? My aunt was going to invest. I swear I believe in Asian cooking.

Chuck E Cheese.. - m4w - 40 (Fullerton)

2009-03-15T23:58:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
I seen you on Sat- the 14th at Chuck E Cheese in Fullerton.. You were with your boy, or boys and a group of girls. You had super short hair and tattoos. I was with my daughter and had a tattoo on my neck.. I had the feeling that you wanted me to say hi, but I was way to shy..

My Response:
You best be shy. I didn't see you win no stuffed prizes for your sweet little daughter. I ain't gonna date a man who puts no effort into the ones he loves. Next time, win the stuffed prizes. Then, we'll talk by the pinball machines. Hey- have sweet dreams tonight, baby:
http://www.chuckecheese.com/chuck-e-games/videos/index.php?fname=dreamin&ftitle=Dreamin

Girl Who Barfed Mid-Flight, seat 3D - m4w - 27 (US Air, PHX - BUR)

2009-03-15T23:18:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Dear girl who booted,
When you first walked on the plane I was delighted that I had a young, attractive girl who I could converse with for our 1-hr ride back from the desert. You were rocking a sweet tat on your foot, which my first indication that you had the possibility of upping your awesomeness status. The problem, however, is that I was kicking the most bitchin' of hangovers. I knew that by talking to you alone, I would be risking gassing you with the fumes of my dying liver -thus, I just popped in my ipod and gazed out upon the endless nothingness with my jaundice eyes.

About mid-flight it started to come to light that your mistaken badassity, was just simply the fact were hitting the bottle hard Saturday night. After realizing the lavatory was occupied, your eyes swelled with panic and then... the inevitable. You claimed to all who were around you that it was "motion sickness" ... but you cant bullshit a bullshitter. I just want to let you know that my heart went out to you... right then and there. You were swimming in a tank of awkward embarrassment, however, I wish you knew that you were more than welcome to have leaned on me the rest of the flight. What can I say? You were cute.

My Response:
Thanks for saying I'm cute- but I actually barfed on the plane because I have cancer- NOT because I was "hitting the bottle." Just because you look like you're in a band with former members of Korn doesn't mean that everyone is hardcore like you.

Does anyone know this goddess? - m4w - 25 (Hollywood)

2009-03-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
So I saw her on a TV show and even though she played a lesbian, I fell in love!
I must meet her! I found her myspace page and now I would like to know if there is anyone out there who knows her who can introduce us, casually.
Please write back to me.
(took the picture off her myspace)
Her name is Serinity.

My Response:
MY Serenity actually spells her name right (and she's a REAL lesbian-MY lesbian- not just one on TV):

She made me fall in love with the B-52's!!!!!!!

Gorgeous Indian girl - Virgin America 411 JFK to LAX - m4w - 26 (JFK to LAX)

2009-03-15T22:19:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
You were the gorgeous Indian girl flying from JFK to LAX seated in 13E. I was in 12D wearing a black t-shirt. We caught each others eyes a couple times during the flight. It seemed like you were sitting with two of your girlfriends, so I felt awkward approaching you... hopefully you see this and maybe we could meet for coffee sometime if you live in the area.

My Response:
Don't patronize me because you like Slumdog Millionaire. I'm sick of being called gorgeous just because that movie won an Oscar. It makes me think that there was an Asian babies boom once Bruce Lee became famous. Did you ever think that maybe I'm part Indonesian?!!!

Sorry. I don't mean to be bitchy. I just hate Hollywood. They make fads out of things like being African American. Don't you hate being called "Benicio Del Toro" sexy just because you're Latino? I would. Ok. I am going now. Being ethnic is such a problem for me these days.

Blue eyes curious about the pretty Latin looking girl at my gym - m4w (LA)

2009-03-13T13:15:00.001-07:00

Missed Connection:
I didn't want to bother your workout but I would have loved to workout together, doing sets, helping keep each other motivated. I felt so energized by just being nearby, catching glimpses of your beauty... it made me workout so much harder... I wanted to help you experience that and have an intense fun workout... your face and figure inspire me... your eyes, lips, olive skin and curves. I don't know what ethnicity you are, but you appear Latin-Spanish.I can sense how sweet and deep you really are just by looking into your eyes. I would say hello, but I hear from so many girls I'm friends with how they hate being bother by guys at the gym...

My Response:
It's crazy because I was thinking like yesterday how much it would be so much better if you came up to me-- but that's cool..I like the way you photoshopped just your eyes for me. It shows you are technical and that's a good skill to have in the job market these days, ya know? I was thinking instead of training me on the stairmaster, you can just teach me how to crop pictures of my face, is that cool?

Mediterraneo on Pier Ave 3/6/09 - m4w (Hermosa Beach)

2009-03-13T13:10:00.001-07:00

Missed Connection:
I know this is a long shot but putting it out there. I was wearing a USC sweatshirt, I was sitting on the next table over from you. You made a comment on my sweat shirt and we moved a table over for you for a friend of yours. Well I would love to talk to you.

My Response:
Ya- USC is so cool. Any paraphernalia from there=gold. I'll buy it from you for $25 bucks resale value. Deal?

YOU GAVE ME A CIGARETTE - m4w - 20 (BETWEEN 6TH AND WILSHIRE GOING DWN UNION)

2009-03-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
HE I STOPPED YOU FOR A CIGARETTE AND YOU WAS ON THE PHONE AND AFTER YOU HAVE ME THE CIG I ASKED YOU WHAT YOU WAS GOING TO DO TONIGHT AND YOU SAID YOU WAS GOING HOME!!! SO IF THIS IS YOU READING THIS EMAIL ME ASAP MAYBE WE COULD KICK IT AND SEE WHERE IT GO FROM THERE...

My Response:
Ay mami...you be a mama's boy. I ain't want a piece of that. You go home so early, you ain't be livin your life like all my cholos, you know??? I like your look, but you gotta be a gangsta, ya know??? I'm for real, dawg. I don't play around wastin my time and bein a ho to someone that don't deserve it, yo. But hey- we can go to the Americana if you want. Check out some Sketchers and eat icecream, if you down.

His Response (as BabyLoco232):
LOL IM A GROWN ASS MAN SO IM A STRAIGHT ASS MALE AND ANT GOT TIME FOR YOUR BILLSHIT AND GAMES AND IF YOU SEEN MY AD WHEN AND GET AT ME ME IF THIS A REAL FEMALE

My Response:
Shit. I'm just a robot. Sorry, man.

Laundry in Venice - m4w - 27 (Venice)

2009-03-13T12:46:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
I opened the door for you while you were carrying your laundry. You're beautiful and I would love to get to know you. Never done a post here and don't expect anything.

My Response:
I WOULD get to know you if you used natural laundry detergent.

His Response:
i can change

My Response:
Change a dollar for 4 quarters? Because their machine does NOT work....RIGHT?? Am I right? SO annoying. LOL!

His Response:
Machine worked for me. Picture?

My Response:
Oh here...ahhh...I am so embarrassed...I got into an accident yesterday...(eeek!) (shrugs)

Blond girl in Red Corvette with out of state plates - m4w (110 North)

2009-03-13T03:23:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
To the dumb ass blond in the red corvette, with the out of state plates, driving on the 110 North freeway
You're a fucking cunt!
Learn how to drive you dumb bitch.
Or better yet, drive faster and cut off more people so you crash and die

My Response:
O-M-G! Why do you have to like be so harsh?!!!! I'm way SORRY- I didn't mean to grab my Sephora cherry lipgloss from my makeup bag AND do my MAC mascara while driving! I've had a really hard week. You would too if you were booted off a reality show called WHO SUCKS?. I hope you take your road rage out on other online forums because it's totally cramping Craigslist's Missed Connection's style. Here- let me get you a mocha from Starbucks and we can sort this out. Better yet, you can give me driving lessons in your Honda. Ok- see ya! TTYL!!!!!!

Eye contact at Poquito Mas - m4w (Westwood)

2009-03-13T03:14:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
I was there at lunch today by myself...I thought we made eye contact a couple times...am I right?

My Response:
I was all about the pico de gallo today, so if you were too, then yes, we made eye contact across the salsa cart. It was spicy.

His Response:
Have any pictures?

My Response:
Yes. I was sorta embarrassed that my Philipino caretaker was with me (what a HUGE cock block)... because I thought you were cute. Tacos later? (I can only eat with one side of my mouth).

Directing Traffic - Windward /Pacific - m4w - 35 (venice)

2009-03-13T03:05:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
you: cute sista keeping it moving thursday morning. i like your style... and your moves. you look super sexy in the uniform.
me. black beanie. crossing diagonally on foot. said a thank you and got a cute smile in return. lunch one day maybe?

My Response:
Only if you take me to Popeye's.

His Response:
I lived in New Orleans. you have no idea my love of popeyes...

My Response:
Crenshaw District. Bucket O' Chicken. This weekend?

I want my barista - m4w (????)

2009-03-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
you make my day. like everyday. i want to make you smile because its only fair of the butterflies you give me. i wish i could have you and i know you could never love me but one day of holding your hand would be worth a million billion deaths.

My Response (entitled Barista THIS):
Your caramel skinny mocha latte breath is worth a million billion deaths. Kidding! But...I seriously can't date a guy that likes lattes and forgets to tip....

VEGAS CHALLENGE starts this Thurs! - m4w (Las Vegas strip)

2009-03-08T16:36:00.001-07:00

Missed Connection:

2009 VEGAS CHALLENGE!

Ladies from the city of angels: The two dashing, charming young guys pictured below are invading Las Vegas for 4 glorious and memorable nights (March 12-16)!

The challenge: Come find us during our trip! We’ll be spending the entire time on the strip. The first group of girls to find us wins a bottle of champagne! Everyone after is at least entitled to a beer or shot!

Think you’re up for the challenge?! We fly out this Thursday, and can’t wait to hang out with you! For hints on our location, email the above craiglist address.

-Russell and Dave.

My Response:
Is this a reality show? Because there better be prize money....

Their Mass Email Response:
So thanks to all of you for responding to our unusual and somewhat crazy Las Vegas Challenge 2009 craigslist post! Here is one last update before we kick off the weekend:

So we have gotten some amusing emails, plenty of spam, and even an email from some random guy who just wanted to tag along with us during our vacation (we didn’t reply, haha). But we have also received over a dozen responses from girls who are headed to Vegas this weekend, and are interested in getting a free bottle of champagne from us! Remember, all you have to do is find these two faces, remember our names, and claim your reward! (btw, champagne type is undetermined, suggestions?).

So most of you figured out Hint #1, (which was easy!). Hint #2 seems to be a bit trickier… but there is still time to figure it out. For those of you who haven’t seen it, it is on our recently created Facebook page: (“Johnny N Vegas” in the Las Vegas network).

Hint #3: To be posted on Facebook tonight…

Feel free to email at any point this weekend for any updates…

So let the Vegas 2009 Challenge begin!

-Russell and Dave

Hope you have a fantastic weekend J

My Response:
You guys are so out of control! BUT IN A COOL WAY! We should make this a reality show like no other! I'm pitching it to MTV as we speak! This champagne you offer should be made of GOLD!

=] - m4w - 18 (The Valley (818))

2009-03-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

Missed Connection:
Well... I'm 18 years old....
hit me up... =]

My Response:
Did you JUST turn eighteen? Like an hour ago? You must have said, "It's 7:06 am- the hour my mom dropped me out of her uterus eighteen years ago! I'm legal according to Father Time! I guess that means it's time to lose my virginity!!! Ladies....my mom dropped me out of her vagina this exact hour eighteen years ago! I dunno what turns you on, but let's DOOOO it!"

His Response:
lol wow.... wtf???

No, I turned 18 September....

and I lost my virginity at 15....

My Response:
Woah. I'm TWENTYfive and still haven't lost mine...

His Response:
YOU'RE 25???

My Response:
Do you have anything else to say?

Cute "milf" at LA Fitness Today - m4w - 40 (Coldwater Canyon)

2009-03-05T16:49:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
I've never done this before, but what the hell. You had green sweats and you kept getting in my way...but I liked it :)

My Response:
Gotta love my baby bump! (She keeps getting me into trouble...) How did you know I was a momma??????

See-through pants at Target - m4w

2009-03-05T13:51:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
You were wearing see-through white pants at Target today. Under your pants, you had on a sexy pair of lacy boy shorts. You also have a very sultry look and a juicy wiggle in your walk. I couldn't take my eyes off you. I'd love to see you there again.

My Response:
MY PANTS ARE SEE-THROUGH??? OMIGOD I AM SO EMBARRASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

authorities my mc: the elusive socal girl with the yoga booty - m4w - 31 (mdr, per,Venice, SaMo)

2009-03-04T15:00:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
now that my time in sunny socal is coming to a close, I have but one regret: that I didn't follow up when presented opportunities to engage any number of worked out Cali girls with the flat tummy and ample yoga booty. I'll be kickicking myself over and over again in the months to come over what might have been. what I wouldn't give to take yoga girl around the waist, look into her eyes and at just the right time slide my hands down her hips and take a firm grip of the aforementioned yoga booty. Not just a casual limp-wristed grab, but a firm ful on inspection ... with purpose. something memorable enough to share with my son someday when giving him the rundown on les birds ad les bees. hey yoga girl! you out there?!

My Response:
I used to be a yoga girl. Too bad I've been eating Butterfingers everyday.

His Response (as SoCalTennisGuy):
well... I guess then our task is to Make a yoga booty where none previously existed!

My Response:
Can I have milkshakes?

His Response:
depends on how hard you're willing to work ;-)

My Response:
I'm tired. I work at Sav-On.

dose anyone know how to hack into someones myspace - 35 (LOs ANGELES AREA)

2009-03-03T12:33:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
I SUSPECT MY HUSBAND IS CHEATING THRU MYSPACE I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO GET HIS PASSWORD

My Response:
You should take classes at DeVry.

Foxy Lady!!!!! East LA - m4w - 21 (Marianna Wey)

2009-03-03T12:05:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
I've seen you driving your toy car, you looked like you may have been half black half t-rex.
let me know whats up,

My Response:
I'm actually half T-Rex, half Brontosaurus. I don't know why you thought I was half black.

PAIN - m4w

2009-03-03T11:55:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
Pain
Pain over here pain over there
Pain in my heart pain in my soul
Pain in my mind
Pain in my skin pain in my bones

Pain being caused left and right
Pain being caused till the heart bleeds red
Pain being caused till the skin and bone rip
Pain being caused till you break into tears

Pain at school
Pain at home
Pain in my head, pain in my heart
Pain in my mind, pain in my soul

Pain happening in my sleep
Pain happening in my thoughts
Pain happening when I’m alone
Pain happening in the shower, in my room, in my bed, in my house where I’m all alone
Pain happening every hour, every minute, every second of my life

Pain caused by anger and hate
Pain caused by hurt
Pain caused by greed
Pain caused by sorrow and depression
Pain caused by grief and confusion

Pain caused by your family and friends
Pain caused by the world
Pain caused by people you love

Pain driving me crazy
Causing me to take pills till it fills up my veins
I go to sleep never to wake up and see that light
The light that will end my pain for good

My Response:
HOW DO YOU GET RID OF IT???????????????????

His Response:
I HAVE NOT FIGURED THAT OUT

My Response:
You should try art therapy.

You were at home for Valentines - m4w - 28 (Pasadena)

2009-02-28T09:18:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
To every woman who was at home on Valentine's thinking it was a boring night alone. One day you will meet someone and find out why it never worked out with anyone else. Stay precious ladies!

My Response:
Thanks for being encouraging!!

Horny > Oogle CL > Distracted by photography > Still horny - m4w - 23 (near the 10/405)

2009-02-28T00:21:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
If you sent me something before, please try again. (I didn't get it.)

My Response:
I am not sure what I think of this. Your butt is weird. Well, here's the picture I tried sending before:

the kids aren't alright - m4w - 19 (USC)

2009-02-28T00:14:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
We had the best night ever you won a couple games we took care of drunk people and danced a lil bit, we even went out for a midnight snack. ended horribly thanks to some one else. just wanted to say sorry it was very awesome to meet you. thought there was a connection but I'm sure its totally gone now. hopefully you want to talk again sometime maybe we can start over.

My Response:
How did you know that Uncle Sam is my role model!!!!!!!!!!? ESPECIALLY DRUNK UNCLE SAM--- O- M- G!!!!! (lols----jkjk). Um-- ya it kinda sucked that Brad decided to barf on your new suede Hilfiger shoes and didn't even apologize! Who does that???? I say tell him to dry clean your shit or else. See you on campus! BUSINESS SCHOOL! What what!

dancing at SHORTSTOP - w4m - 23 (silverlake)

2009-02-23T00:46:00.000-08:00

My Missed Connection Post:
you thought i liked you but i swear i didn't. you are too German for me.

i don't like it when you sit next to me - w4m - 23 (hollywood)

2009-02-23T00:43:00.000-08:00

My Missed Connection Post:
you smell bad. i hope you spelled my name wrong when you wrote it down in your notebook.

Amber Nelson - m4w - 39 (Easton, Pa)

2009-02-22T15:18:00.001-08:00

Missed Connection:
moved out here about year ago.... Where are you???????

My Response:
I am hiding! From YOU!!!!

RE: Peet's Coffee & Tea - w4m - 28 (Tarzana) - m4w (TARZANA)

2009-02-22T15:05:00.001-08:00

Missed Connection:
I REMEBER YOU BABY. YOU WERE SEXY AND LOKING AT ME ALL DAY. DON BE SHY BABY I DON BITE...UNLES YOU LIKE IT.. JA JA JA. SEND TELEFON

My Response:
Thank god you got back to me with your unibrow.

To the asian girl walking the three legged dog - m4w

2009-02-21T14:25:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
I know you don't own a three legged dog and I doubt you're asian either... so why are you reading this? Honestly, why are you reading this? Almost everyone on here is so retarded. It's such a waste of time to read these and they're not even interesting. Instead, you could be out meeting real people, doing something productive, or at least reading something more interesting (yes, I realize this makes me a hypocrite). When was the last time you read a book? I bet it's been a while. You have no problem reading page after page of useless uninteresting crap with horrible spelling and grammar but you can't make yourself sit down and read a well written, interesting, and perhaps even informative book. Why? Please, just consider this for a bit.

My Response:
I read Sartre every night- along with self help books on how to become a more attractive- I mean, profitable person in my workplace. (I'm a stripper). Also- Bukowski is God. So- don't tell me I'm illiterate and stupid and unworldly- OK!!?!??!? I know about Confucius.

His Response:
You're very strange.
--Caleb

My Response:
I am what makes life interesting!

Looking for someone to hang with. - m4w - 29 (San Gabriel)

2009-02-20T01:20:00.001-08:00

Missed Connection:
Hey, I'm a down to earth single guy looking for a down to earth single woman. I love women in general so race doesn't matter. My main attractions are Asian,Latin,and white,but all races are attractive to me. so hit me up.

My Response:
The way you use sepia and black and white on the same picture turns me on. It shows you know how to use photoshop. Hit me up for sure! I am white-- but sometimes people think I'm black. Is that ok?

His Response:
Yeah thats all good. I like women of all races. Let me know whats up.

My Response:
This is what's up, dawg:

hey woman - m4w (over here)

2009-02-20T01:14:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
i want my chicken back. can you please bring it back?

My Response:
Only if you give me my fucking duck.

Albertsons - California Pizza Kitchen Pizza - m4w (Calabasas)

2009-02-20T00:49:00.000-08:00

Missed Connections:
We spoke briefly in the frozen foods section in Albertsons on Agoura Rd. You raved about how great California Pizza Kitchen Pizzas were. How you told all your friends about it and how they loved it too. I would love to talk more...over coffe...tea or pizza :) I know its a long shot, but if your reading this, hit me up.

My Response:
I will hit you up at Ralphs' frozen food section this weekend...but this time I'll bring a cooked version of one of the CPK pizzas. I'll crack a bottle of wine...light some candles- say sweet nothings to you. I honestly have made those CPK pizzas my number one topic of the week for the last three weeks. Is that crazy??? I don't think so....they're fuckin' good...BBQ CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

His Response:
Now that sounds great, but I think we would get kicked out of Ralphs for sure. I took two of the BBQ Chickens home that day. They were pretty good. Although, I like them better at CPK's. In fact I like the thai chicken one best...and I don't share that one. maybe with some wine...I might :)

My Response:
I forgot. I am allergic to wine.

subway - m4w (hollywood)

2009-02-20T00:41:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
really hot girl at subway today, to bad on the phone the whole time

My Response:
Does that mean I'm less attractive to you now? It better not. I love my Sidekick more than sex.

Beverly Hills Ralphs Parking - m4w (Beverly Hills)

2009-02-20T00:22:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
You told me I was cute.. I told you, you were cute too.....
I would like to do something about that......

My Response:
Let's get matching scarves and sunglasses. Kitson? American Apparel? What do you think? Do you have a chihuahua???

les deux monday night! - m4w - 23 (hollywood)

2009-02-19T01:38:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
i joked with you about how you meet guys on craigslist, and now i am attempting to contact you through craigslist again :-)
I'm tall and Caucasian. you're beautiful and ethnically ambiguous. I'm brian and you're brianna. if this isn't magical, i don't know what is.

My Response:
Coincidences are crazy. It totally makes life INTERESTING (versus NOT INTERESTING). BTW_ It's totally crazy that we're practically twins (Brian AND Briana- i mean- who thought to bring us together!??!? Obviously JESUS!!)

GIN - m4w - 32 (AROUND)

2009-02-19T01:32:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
lets play a game, chess, rummy, dominos, WISHING YOU WERE HERE. you know who you are.
I just have one question, do i ever cross your mind?

My Response:
Only in a game of tic tac toe.

Diva - m4w - 29

2009-02-17T00:27:00.001-08:00

Missed Connection:
So, we've actually met before, but it didnt go well, to say the least. Ive seen you around and been too embarrassed to say hi quite a few times since then. It turns out that we had some mutual friends, who you then became.. um.. not friends with and then later I became not friends with as well. So that didnt help anyone. It sucks because every once in a while Ill come across your myspace thing via someone else we both know or like and think - wow, this girl is awesome.. we should hang out and watch Shark or Sgt Kabukiman or something.. then I remember that we DID meet and it was a disaster. So, here's to hoping that -
A: you see this
B: you have an open mind for second chances. or, second-and-a-half-chances maybe, if coincidences count for anything.
C: if the next time goes horribly as well, we can still watch movies or something.
ok.. here goes...

My Response:
Is there an option D? I guess option A already happened(because I did see your post). Option B (about me having an open mind)- I am not sure about that because I am a Conservative Catholic. And- Option C (about watching movies with you)- I hate movies. It's called: READ A BOOK! DUH! But hey- are you Catholic? We can go to church if you like that idea. Church is MY "movie-going" experience (without the popcorn and big screen)....kidding!!!!!! I CRACK MYSELF UP! Ok- but seriously- are you Catholic? I only date those...

Teena in red corvette - m4w (behind you)

2009-02-17T00:13:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
Teena I miss you, please drive your little red corvette to me. I see you and I want you. I want to cover you with whip cream and lick it all off of you then cover you with vaseline and fuck you like it will never happen again. I'm married, your married but I still want a shot at that sweet tiny behind. I want to feel you all over from that tiny butt to those two beautiful implanted boobies. I want to run my tongue down the crack of that tight ass, up past that sweet patch and stop just long enough to suck each of those two beauties. Give me a sign, just a hint that it's okay to jump your bones. I promise you will be sore and we can go back to our spouses like it did not happen. I won't ask for or give seconds, just let me have it one time. it will be our secret.

My Response:
I will tell your wife about your plan so that she can help you cut out coupons to buy vaseline, whip cream, and condoms 50% off. And- puta, do NOT say I have implants. You have not felt them....YET.

His Response (as "bob bush"):
oh my sweet cherry pie. Your not my Teena. My teena is a real girl with such a fine behind, smooth skin, and her titties are implants, she has the nicest mouth, I'm sure it would take all of me. so please Alessanda. your not Teena, not my Teena. Ours is a love that will not die, can not die and will most likely die only with my Teena and I. Now if you want a little somethin somethin, you know about that, let me know and we can hook up.

His Response (2 hours later):
i'm sorry, i forgot one thing, fuck off you puta calling mexican skank ass whore. After I'm done bitch slapping you I may just pop a nut up your ugly fat hemroid filled ass. faggot bitch.

His Response (35 minutes later):
hey puta, what ever the fuck that is. here is a little something for you. your not my Teena, my Teena is all woman, smooth, clean, fresh, exciting, nothing like you. My teena has all her teeth, my teena swallows, you just suck.

My Response:
Why why why all the hate?!??!??! Don't ever underestimate a woman without teeth. I'm way better than a woman with implants. So what if I have hemroids? I bet you have herpes.

His Response:
oh my sweet thing, now you do have my attention, put on your party dress and lets party. tell me more about how good you can be, honest I am clean, scrub a dub dub lets jump i the tub, but I know your not my teena, but if you want you can be Alessandra, do you like whip cream?

My Response:
I like it all too well in an ass crack.

girl with PINK HAIR at home depot. sunday feb. 15 - m4w - 25 (silver lake)

2009-02-16T10:21:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
to the extremely insanely cute girl, with PINK HAIR...

YOU: were at home depot sunday feb.15 around 7 or 7:30ish pm. u have streched ear lobes, pink hair, i think it was only the front part, u bought (i think) something from the very last section of the store, it wasnt a ladder, if u read this youll know what im talking about, and u can confirm this...

ME: i work there, tall, blue jeans, and a beige shirt, goatee, kind of long with two piercings on the lip, and glasses. i was walking in the front (spoting or guiding) my supervisor who was driving a red forklift and i saw u right in front of paint department. he told me u look but i didnt believe it, u were just to cute to look at someone like me. i wouldve said hi, but i was guiding the driver, and i had to.

i know this is a long shot, but you are well worth it. like i said you are so insanely, freaking cute, and i love your style, and honeslty i think u are cool as fuck. if (and iam really hoping) u read this, please get back at me, i would love to say hi....julio....
PS>>oh yeah, neither me or my supervisor (he was wearing a hat) were wearing an apron, we didnt wanna get bother. but u can bother me anytime...

My Response:
I used to drive a forklift at OSH across the street (but I got fired for lying about being able to drive it). Talk about coincidences. Do you happen to like fetish porn and bondage? Because that would be a coincidence too...
KIDDING!
So...what music do you like? Grunge? 90s? I'm so 90s because I was born then....

His Response:
osh!! bleh...you know ure reallyfunny, so u must be a nice person. 90 music is the best. i actually like every kind of music (original huh?)

My Response:
I am actually a bitch. I don't know how you think funny people are ever nice...but ok. Do you seriously not have a music preference? Are you a big fan of ANY band? Like Ace of Base? No Doubt? Garbage???? HOLE!?!?!??! Those are classics you for sure need to be aware of....

His Response:
oi like alittle of everything. but mostly metal and rap, not the cluby kind. so what else are you into?? how old are you?? and u wanna tell me more about yourself? geet ack at me..julio...

My Response:
I am 18. I like quality music and really good art, like anything Kat Von Di tatoos on people. Do you have tattoos? I have one on my buttcheek. It's a panther. It means "strength."

His Response:
of course i have a favorite band, its all about the knot, SLIPKNOT, thats my favorite band of all time, static-x, otep, molotov, then, mos deft, talib kweli, commom, krs one, De la soul, no doubt, korn, CKY, AC/DC, led zepelling, the doors, the list goes on and on .tattoos? of course, i have some, more than an armband, half my arm its done, a start on the other, and hafl my leg its almost done as well, i could send u a pic, but since im a gentlement, im gonna let u do that first. send me a pic, if u can one of your tattoo as well. ill return the favor. myspacce perhaps?? and, i still think ur cool, just because youre funny, the bitch thing, i dont know yet, but you sound pretty straight forward. well, hope to hear from u soon..,..julio...
PS>>oh yeah, im 25, and live on silver lake. where do u live?? movies, lets talk movies, favorite kind?? and i guess my preference is metal

My Response:
How about I like funny ass movies like Mall Cop and Madea Goes to Jail!???!!! What what. Slipknot is sick, yo. I live in Silverlake and I want to make metal music but I am too scared to freak out my grandma. Ok - here is a pic of me (before the pink hair and hotness):

His Response:
wait, a couple of things, is that a neck brace?? what happend?? how long ago was this?
and, u mentioned pink hair, was that really you?? i mean the one i saw at home depot?? the one i wrote the posting about?? if this is you...what did u buy that day??? it was at the very last section of the store, im just curious if this posting really did work.....and if not, u made a friend anyway, if ure willing to take my friendship of course, just let me know if this is really you.......i still think ure pretty cool....hope to hear from u soon....julio....

My Response:
i get confused sometimes when people say they saw me at this and this place with pink hair because the pink hair i have is not on my head- just my arms and legs. so if you mention pink hair- I am just like- oh ya- I have pink hair- how could I forget? Also, I get so used to the neckbrace I am wearing right now that I forget it's on me sometimes). But good news about the brace- I can stilll head bang!!!! So ya-I guess the person at Home Depot wasn't me. Thanks for your friend requests on Friendster, Myspace, and Facebook though! I MIGHT accept it! LOL JKJK JK!

maria lopes (love groove) - m4w - 25

2009-02-15T10:41:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
I can't find your facebook.

My Response:
Because she don't have one. Try friendster.

His Response:
Is this the maria lopez I met last night?

My Response:
No this is her mother hoping she'll find someone who'll take her to somewhere else other than Popeye's.

His Response:
Does your daughter happen to be from Colombia?

My Response:
Bogatá bitches.

His Response (in a Facebook friend request):
You are not Maria Lopes.

Milf at the gym in my apartment complex - m4w - 22 (warner center)

2009-02-14T17:38:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
We had a l conversation this Thursday, i always see u check me out never realy pursued it. i been check u out for minute. You're so hot i want to do you...

My Response:
Do you speak English? Thank you for saying I am a MILF. I rarely feel that way- so yes, I'll hook up with you. Will you babysit in exchange?

His Response:
send me a picture and your number will talk

My Response:
323) 826-5309

Hey Birthday Girl - m4w (Pasadena)

2009-02-14T17:31:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
You definitely got my attention today. Love the purple in your hair.

My Response:
Love the green in yours. Let's make punk rock (I mean love).

Zach's Italian Cafe Bar - m4w - 49 (hopeful)

2009-02-14T16:49:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
I should have asked you to stay or have dessert, or at least properly introduced myself. Like I was discussing with your friend, it's hard to approach someone from out of the blue. I should have worn my trenchcoat.

My Response:
I should have worn MY trenchcoat! (Then we could have been twins). Next time, let's get pie and talk about action figures.

Girl in Green Mini Cooper on Sunset at 2AM Friday night - m4w (West Hollywood)

2009-02-14T16:38:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
You were the sexy passenger in a dark green Mini Cooper on Sunset and Crescent Heights. I was the Italian guy in a black BMW driving home after work. We exchanged smiles as we drove... You had a beautiful smile and looked very sexy. I turned to head home before I realized I should have kept driving on Sunset with the hopes of getting a red light and a chance to talk to you. I just got off work so I wasn't thinking so clearly. Hopefully you see this and we can resume where we left off...

My Response:
Should I meet you on Sunset and Crescent Heights like last time? I'll ask my friend in the green Mini Cooper to drive me there and we can reenact the moment we shared?

His Response:
Wow... this really works? How do I know it's really you? Do you have a pic?
http://doplereffecttv.com

His Response (a week later):
What happened to you Alessandra? Are you not the beautiful girl I saw that night? You had a great smile!
Joseph Greto 310.210.2235 http://doplereffecttv.com

My Response:
You're too much of a big Hollywood guy that I got too nervous to respond! Sorry! Here I am!

Your knight in shining armor - m4w

2009-02-14T16:29:00.001-08:00

Missed Connection:
Hey ladies,
I have tried for years to find someone via internet but only once has it happened so for know I am done doing to nice guy thing, dating. I want to get laid and I don't beleive in paying for it nor am I interested in all of the website promoters pretending to be real people.
I'm 100% diesee free, like to party and hoping to get laid this weekend.

My Reponse:
I forgot where I put my chastity belt, you lucky knight. But, I'm not "100% disease free" like you are requesting. Perhaps we can work out some sort of deal? You give me Gonorrhea, I give you Chlamydia?

Macys sherman oaks saturday morning - m4w - 38 (sherman oaks)

2009-02-14T16:24:00.000-08:00

Missed Connection:
You are tall and beautiful standing next to me to pay in the men's department and you looked at me and told me my jacket is nice. I wanna know who you are,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

My Response:
I just liked the jacket you were wearing. Where did you get it?

His Response:
Tell me what you were wearing so I know it's really you,,,,,,then I will tell you where I got it,,,

My Response:
a white cardigan- blue heels...jeans...HOTNESS

His Reponse:
wrong answer,,,,or wrong girl,,,,,, what jacket was I wearing?

My Response:
White corduroy? I know it was white because I hate jean or black jackets..they are totally stupid...

His Response:
come on stop playing around,,,,,,,,,,,,,

His Response (two minutes later):
better yet, send me your picture

My Response:
I'm NOT playing around.

His Reponse:
is that your mom?

My Response:
No- that's me...why you have to be a hater?

His Response:
I'm not a hater, you just look older in the picture that's all

Who is this girl? - m4w - 25 (Hollywood)

2009-02-14T11:17:00.001-08:00

Missed Connection:
Good lord! Is she real?? I think this pic was grabbed from her MySpace or something. Anyone ever seen her in person?

My Response:
If you continue pimping my daughter out on missed connections and Myspacelayouts.com, I will have to sue you. The damage is already done, but I want this stopped now. Before you, she didn't even know about eyeliner. Now look- it's caked on like my grandmother's sweaty pantyhouse. Once an angel...now fallen...........You're killing me, Larry.